At my high school reunion a couple of weeks ago, an old classmate asked me what I planned to do. I mentioned that I wasn't sure as we were moving to Doha. "You're immigrating?"he asked.
I stopped... thought... and realised : well, I guess I am.
My boss gave a farewell pseudo-speech sometime last week. It was slightly strange hearing those words because I never felt that I was ever really a part of that space. Was it a deliberate disinvestment on my part, knowing that my future was on 'screensaver' moode and would be chnaging soon? Perhaps. I was there for nine months - it's crazy how a month turns into four turns into nine.
These farewell things are a bit of a formality. I realise that as much as I bemoan formalities, I'm suckered into creating and maintaining them out of politeness. Bah - politeness - my achilles heel. I'll take passion or courage any day, but what d I get stuck with? sterile politeness.
Then the visa comes and I need to book a ticket.
Staying in Cape Town for some months last year, I came to realise that the grass on the other side is not always as green as it seems. Change is change is change and contexts may enhance or detract from the overall experience, but the true constant and decisive factor is 'the self'. And grudgingly I admit that , yes... the universe does lie within.
It's always 'the people' and relationships that tear me apart. I know that the world is small and ever-shrinking but the thought of leaving behind rock-solid support-structures leaves me hollow. I often feel that I hold relationships in too much esteem. That perhaps my strong feelings of love aren't always reciprocated - but it doesn't really bother me much.
Don't be a baby I tell myself. Man-up ...
But 'myslef' really knows that's it's for a good reason that I'm being so clingy, so nostalgic and so sentimental - I've met and fallen in love with so many real people ofver the past years. Selfless people, spiritual people, ambitious people, intelligent people. People who have been strength when all that I could do was collapse. God knows that I have reason to feel nostalgic...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
A made-for-hollywood type of movie- generous mix of sci-fi, some action scenes with a dose of mind-bending.It was a winning Hollywood formula - and I fell for it.
I think that it tried a little too hard to be an 'important movie'.
Fascinating aspects included concepts raised in the plot. Time lapse during dreams is intruiging. Relating the concept of this life appearing to be 'only but a day' when seen in context of the Hereafter seems conceivable - time is a relative construct.
As with 'The Matrix trilogy', we come to question the nature of which reality is the 'true reality'. It was a mind trip for sure. However, I agree with Ned's comment that it lacked clever dialogue.
The magic element was missing - but overall, it was a piece of an afternoon well(ish) spent.